Wednesday 15 June 2022

What hurts the most: friendship breakups or Umjolo? #GirlTalkZA

Relationships aren't a one size fits all – defying societal norms and redefining what love means to you is what can carry you to the finish line.

As much as umjolo (urban slang for romantic relationships) are a pandemic and we like to glorify the drama of breakups, friendship breakups can sometimes hurt more than romantic ones. 


The younger generation is breaking generational curses in more ways than one, seeking out therapy to heal our childhood traumas and accountability, and romanticising every aspect of our lives. And I am here for it!

I was once a jealous friend, one could easily say I was toxic because I had this mentality that friendship meant only two people. (I'm embarrassed even writing about it.)

My best friend has always exuded a magnetic aura, a free spirit who is very easy to be around. People were drawn to her energy.

I had the uneasy feeling that I was losing her to the masses, which bothered me. Making friends as an introvert can be difficult. Long story short, I decided to write her a letter, and 10 years later she still has it.

I didn't realise it at the time, but by sharing our grievances with one another rather than keeping them to ourselves, we accomplished something incredible. Because to this day we still write each other letters. 

It's all too easy to keep quiet about what makes us uncomfortable because we're afraid of sharing parts of ourselves that we don't understand.