When larger-than-life businessman Vivian Reddy invites you to the opening of his newest venture you know it's going to be a spectacle.
And with a guest list ranging from the new Zulu king making one of his first public appearances (find out what the monarch brings to dinner a little later on) to a beauty queen who rankled that giant flagpole-loving minister, mix in the creme of KwaZulu-Natal politics and throw in a couple of reality-TV stars, and you have the makings of an occasion that's equal parts sparkly and spicy.
This was Friday evening and the location a sizeable pocket of prime real estate set on KwaZulu-Natal's sugar coast to celebrate the opening of the first phase of its R4.5bn development, a towering 16-storey five-star hotel.
The Radisson Blu Hotel Umhlanga is just down the road from the Gateway shopping centre and in a part of what is said to be the country's fastest-growing node, which is home to grand hotels like the Beverly Hills and the Oyster Box.
As part of my invitation I get to stay at the hotel, which only officially opens to the public this Friday.
Arriving at the spot I notice a fleet of luxury cars, including a Bugatti and a Ferrari flanking the entrance where a laser-cut steel dolphin sculpture takes pride of place.
Inside as I check in workers are frantically putting the finishing touches, like unrolling a blue carpet for the gala opening.
Part of the fun of being a hotel guinea pig is that some amenities like room service haven't quite been rolled out yet so it's a case of unplanned intermittent fasting for me before heading downstairs to join the festivities.
Picking up a glass of bubbly I head up the gold-tinted elevator to the hotel's fourth floor, where its conference facilities are located.
Among the milling guests enjoying cocktails and snacking on help-yourself hors d'oeuvres displayed on mirrored shelves on one end of the hallway I meet Tumi and Emmanuel Ramokgopa, who tell me they're in the midst of purchasing a coal mine, and then on to spotting a politician who has managed to claw himself back after a sex romp scandal some 15 years ago.
That's the IFP's chief whip, Narend Singh, who, with his beautiful wife Manitha, is in conversation with former politician Mpho Scott, who quips he is now "just a businessman".
Next it's meeting tobacco tycoon Yusuf Kajee and his wife Zakkiyah, striking in a cream Mohamed Paruk gown.
In walks a woman impossible not to notice: current Miss SA Lalela Mswane, whose reign will forever be remembered for a clash with the arts & culture department over her decision to compete at the Miss Universe pageant in Israel. I ask if she would do it again if given the chance, to which she replies serenely, "No comment."
While Lalela arrives with an assistant carrying her Miss SA sash, a few minutes later I spot an unusual sight
two men lugging in a chocolate-brown armchair finished off with leopard skin.
Turns out the incoming Zulu king, Misuzulu kaZwelithini (recently officially recognised by President Cyril
Ramaphosa, thereby paving the way for his coronation despite a royal feud) brings his own seat to the table when he graces your do.
