You can catch more flies with honey than you can vinegar. In other words, people respond better to rewards than punishments. As a leader or a marketer if you want an employee or a customer to change behavior, research says the best thing to do is give them positive reinforcement when they do what you want.
Check out the keys to getting people to always do what you want below!
1) Speak Quickly To Get An Argument Opponent To Agree With You
By speaking quickly in the middle of an argument you can often find yourself winning over your opponent. The trick lies in speaking so fast that they have less time to process what you’re saying, likewise if someone is agreeing with you, your best move is to talk slowly so they have more time to follow your argument. It turns out that ‘how’ you communicate your ideas is just as important as ‘what’ you are saying is.
2) Confuse People To Get Them To Comply With Your Request
Somewhat similarly you can try and confuse people in order to get them to do what you want. Often referred to as the ”disrupt-then-reframe” or DTR technique, it’s a classic that street vendors all over the world regularly use.
One study found that when researchers went door-to-door selling cards for charity, DTR helped them sell twice the amount then when they didn’t use it. Instead of simply telling people they were selling eight cards for $3, they told them it cost 300 pennies. It worked because it disrupted their thought processes, so while they are trying to work out how many dollars 300 pennies is they just end up accepting that it must be a great deal and pay up.
3) Ask People For Favors When They’re Tired To Get Them To Cooperate
Another sneaky trick to getting people to do something you want, is to approach them when they are tired. An alert and well-rested mind is able to think more clearly and critically when you ask for something versus someone who is drained and likely distracted by other concerns. Hence it’s probably best to ask a coworker for help with something at the end of the day rather than the beginning.
4) Focus On What Your Bargaining Partner Is Gaining, Not Losing
A super common tactic employed by businessmen and negotiators is to always focus the conversation on what the other person will gain (NOT LOSE) in any transaction or deal. The idea is that you want to persuade the other person to see things from a different perspective (your’s) and thus be more likely to acquiesce. Say for example, you want to sell your car, you should say, ”I’ll give you MY car for $1,000,” instead of, ”I want $1,000 for the car.”
5) Mimic People’s Body Language To Get Them To Like You
Another way you can trick people into wanting to do what you want is to start subtly mimicking the way someone is sitting and speaking to get them to like you more. If you are subtle enough they probably won’t even notice that you are copying their body language.
Scientists have taken to calling this the ”chameleon effect” and it works because we humans tend to like conversation partners that exhibit similar mannerisms, facial expressions and postures to our own. The weirdest thing is that this effect is almost wholly unconscious; participants in various chameleon effect studies were often not even aware they were being mimicked.
6) Ask For A Small Favor Before A Big One
Basically it means that if a person has performed a favor for someone no matter how small they are more likely to do another favor for the same person than if they had themselves received a favor from that person. This flies in the face of the common maxim that you should do a favor for someone first if you want them to return the ”favor”.
Apparently Ben Franklin used this effect to win over a hostile legislator by first asking to borrow a book from him! Ingenious no? The Ben Franklin effect works due to two things. First, by promoting investment. If you can get another person to invest in you be it with their time or by giving you something they will often post-rationalise their decision into thinking they must like you. Second, the effect helps establish a pattern of behavior. By getting someone to do something for you, you dramatically increase the chances of them repeating the favor in the future.
Check out the keys to getting people to always do what you want below!
1) Speak Quickly To Get An Argument Opponent To Agree With You
By speaking quickly in the middle of an argument you can often find yourself winning over your opponent. The trick lies in speaking so fast that they have less time to process what you’re saying, likewise if someone is agreeing with you, your best move is to talk slowly so they have more time to follow your argument. It turns out that ‘how’ you communicate your ideas is just as important as ‘what’ you are saying is.
2) Confuse People To Get Them To Comply With Your Request
Somewhat similarly you can try and confuse people in order to get them to do what you want. Often referred to as the ”disrupt-then-reframe” or DTR technique, it’s a classic that street vendors all over the world regularly use.
One study found that when researchers went door-to-door selling cards for charity, DTR helped them sell twice the amount then when they didn’t use it. Instead of simply telling people they were selling eight cards for $3, they told them it cost 300 pennies. It worked because it disrupted their thought processes, so while they are trying to work out how many dollars 300 pennies is they just end up accepting that it must be a great deal and pay up.
3) Ask People For Favors When They’re Tired To Get Them To Cooperate
Another sneaky trick to getting people to do something you want, is to approach them when they are tired. An alert and well-rested mind is able to think more clearly and critically when you ask for something versus someone who is drained and likely distracted by other concerns. Hence it’s probably best to ask a coworker for help with something at the end of the day rather than the beginning.
4) Focus On What Your Bargaining Partner Is Gaining, Not Losing
A super common tactic employed by businessmen and negotiators is to always focus the conversation on what the other person will gain (NOT LOSE) in any transaction or deal. The idea is that you want to persuade the other person to see things from a different perspective (your’s) and thus be more likely to acquiesce. Say for example, you want to sell your car, you should say, ”I’ll give you MY car for $1,000,” instead of, ”I want $1,000 for the car.”
5) Mimic People’s Body Language To Get Them To Like You
Another way you can trick people into wanting to do what you want is to start subtly mimicking the way someone is sitting and speaking to get them to like you more. If you are subtle enough they probably won’t even notice that you are copying their body language.
Scientists have taken to calling this the ”chameleon effect” and it works because we humans tend to like conversation partners that exhibit similar mannerisms, facial expressions and postures to our own. The weirdest thing is that this effect is almost wholly unconscious; participants in various chameleon effect studies were often not even aware they were being mimicked.
6) Ask For A Small Favor Before A Big One
Basically it means that if a person has performed a favor for someone no matter how small they are more likely to do another favor for the same person than if they had themselves received a favor from that person. This flies in the face of the common maxim that you should do a favor for someone first if you want them to return the ”favor”.
Apparently Ben Franklin used this effect to win over a hostile legislator by first asking to borrow a book from him! Ingenious no? The Ben Franklin effect works due to two things. First, by promoting investment. If you can get another person to invest in you be it with their time or by giving you something they will often post-rationalise their decision into thinking they must like you. Second, the effect helps establish a pattern of behavior. By getting someone to do something for you, you dramatically increase the chances of them repeating the favor in the future.
