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Monday 18 March 2024

Parent abuse? Should persons aged 30+ still be staying with their parents? #GirlTalkZA

Some parents are finding it difficult to parent their children, adolescents, as well as adult children, Jo Speaks, an organisation that prides itself in restoring human dignity, has observed. It is for this reason that this year, they have lined up three major events, two of which are dedicated to helping parents cope.

According to Jo Speaks Director, Dr Kgomotso Jongman, a social worker by profession and lecturer at the University of Botswana, a disturbing trend is emerging where parents are struggling to raise their children.

His organisation has put together a Parental Retreat, which will be taking place for the third time this year. This Retreat was prompted by the outcry by parents who increasingly feel overwhelmed by challenges of parenting.

"Parents are dealing with difficult adult children who believe that they are adults themselves and can no longer be controlled by their parents, though they still live at home," he said.

He added that the situation has been exacerbated by the fact that youth unemployment is high in Botswana, causing parents to cramp up with their adult children of up to over 30 years in their homes. 

It is a delicate situation where parents have to contend with the fact that as 30-year-olds still inside their homes, the children want to be treated as adults who have adult desires and responsibilities and not be sent around on errands and house chores usually assigned teenagers.

 "In some instances, a conflict can ensue when an adult son insists that he wants to bring his girlfriend into the home against his parents' rule. Parents cannot keep up with their adult children," Dr Jongman, said. 

He added that these are real issues that many families in Botswana are dealing with. Such adult children can even engage in other activities like smoking and drinking that their parents might not approve of, but just because they are adults themselves they get away with it, causing great distress to their parents and strained relations. 

Dr Jongman says some parents are struggling with raising their GenZ children – those aged from 12 to 27.

"This is the most problematic generation that we struggle with in both homes and workplaces because they often question the way things are and challenge the status quo," he said, adding that drug abuse which has penetrated both schools and homes has made the challenge worse. 

The Parental Retreat which is scheduled for the weekend of June 21 to 23 at the Mankgodi Retreat
Centre will allow parents to reflect, introspect and refresh their minds, as well as sharpen their parenting skills.